Ghostly

1

         Lately a question is being tossed my way with alarming frequency: “Just how much do you know about ghosts on the local scene?”

         I find this particular query both strange and unsettling. Such interrogation backs one into a tight corner, leaving practically no exit for making an honorable retreat.

         The most admirable trait in any human is modesty; a little dab of humility is a welcome change from blustering braggarts. Now just suppose the above question was answered in this manner: “Friend, you came to the right person.  I recently visited Duke University, and while on their beautiful campus I completed an advanced course at it’s renowned World Parapsychology Center. As you know, those Blue Devils are light-years ahead of everyone else in researching the paranormal. Pal, speak right up if a supernatural matter is troubling your inquisitive mind. I’m an expert in the field of spooks and their knavish kindred: witches, warlocks, demons, ghouls, astral body projection and various other oddities not normally associated with your common, everyday occurrences.” End of quote.

         Now, in the name of common decency I ask you…just how in tarnation would that sound?! Huh?. Listen, any person foolish enough to voice such rantings ain’t nothin’ but a “big bag of hot air.” That’s right, a wind-jammer. An unfortunate fact of life is that our world knows no shortage of this breed. You’re probably surrounded by a dozen of these “wagging tongues” at this very minute. Sure hope I’m never lumped into a category with those ratchet-jaws.

         More than a little thought is required before answering this question which encompasses such an all-important subject. The potential for causing untold numbers of nervous-breakdowns ( to say nothing of sleepless nights ) among local citizens is a very real danger here, and certainly no person of sane mind wants to shoulder the responsibilities for causing unpleasantness of that nature.

         The supernatural is a chilling matter, and one must proceed with the utmost of caution. This topic can easily induce profound shock in frail nervous systems ( we crow about the strength and stamina of the human body. Phoooeeey! Just one encounter with a ghost can prove the myth of such childish thinking in a hurry ). I don’t want it on my conscience that I was the cause of umpteen people goin’ off the deep-end.

         For that reason I tend to be somewhat evasive in this field. The very best way to do that is to pose a question to my interrogator: “I’m hearing reports that certain people in this area are indulging in the use of ouija-boards. Know anything about that?”

         “I certainly do,” is the usual reply. “That practice is widespread…all my friends are doin’ it. As a matter of fact, we held a midnight séance just last night. The old floors and walls were really rapping.

         Confirmation of a great fear, and I almost regretted making the inquiry. It spells trouble in big doses. The consequences of tinkering with this “Pandora’s Box” are frightening indeed. May the Good Lord take a likin’ to us.

         “Now hear me good brother,” I said, injecting a note of urgency. “There are powers in this world not to be tampered with. Ouija-boards are extremely dangerous, capable of summoning forth spirits and other horrors that are unspeakably evil. You and your cronies are treading on forbidden ground, and one inky night those dark forces from the netherworld are gonna’ join you around that levitating table. Your crowd won’t be able to handle that. So heed this advice…if you have a ouija-board in your household, then for heavens sake get rid of it!”

         A sneer spread across the face of the listener, a clear indication I hadn’t gotten through: “Hey kid, you’re walkin’ down a dangerous path from which there is no return. Have a seat, make yourself comfortable.

Unexplained things are happening in Narrows and surrounding areas even as we speak. There’s some stuff you need to know, and I suggest you listen carefully. What I’m about to say might help you retain a grip on sanity”…

2

        
         Most folks engage in a hobby of some sort. Nearly without exception they’re an activity we’d like to earn a livelehood doin,’  but for various reasons can’t. This is true because, for the most part, no other living person is even remotely interested in our hobbies, or gives a hoot about ‘em.

         Thus while pursuing these pastimes we can’t earn one thin dime, meaning we find ourselves forever consigned to a dull 9 to 5 routine. Or perhaps, as in my own particular case, a lifetime of wallowing in ditches and ghastly garbage dumps.

         Hobbies cover a wide-range of interests, varied as the trees in a tropical rainforest. For many it’s raising thoroughbred racehorses. Some choose travelling to foreign shores a favorite respite. Millions have taken a fancy to collecting rare stamps and coins, while yet others spend every dollar they earn ( and all inheritances ) in the restoration of antique automobiles.

         I’ve never been able to participate in any of that stuff.  Those are expensive hobbies, costing arms, legs…even torsos.

         I’m gonna’ level with ya’ here, the big money has always eluded me, positioning itself and remaining eternally just beyond my grasp. Funds have always been, and are today, in damned short supply, really, almost non-existent. You’ve no doubt heard about the scarcity of hen’s teeth. Well, fowl molars and greenback dollars are in about equal supply over here on my side the tracks. Shucks man… there was just no way I could get into collecting stamps bearing the likeness of Queen Isabella.  

         But nonetheless, regardless of meager financial resources, just like everyone else I wanted to pursue a hobby. Rather early in life some hard decisions had to be made. The selection of hobbies I could choose from was definitely restricted, very narrow indeed. I had to “git into somethin’ that didn’t cost a durn dime.”                                               

         Sorta’ glad I chose “ghosts and related phenomena”as a life-long study. No travel has been required…Narrows and vicinity have proved rich hunting-grounds in providing “specimens” for my project. The ingredients abound right here, in proportions that are limitless and unending.

         With the possible exception of merry old England ( reportedly, Limeyland has the highest concentrations of ghosts in the entire world. Those centuries- old castles are filled to the brim with ‘em. Shimmering apparitions are teeming there…awful lookin’ things they are. ). But our own section of Southwest Virginia is ideal for “Spook watchin” too.

         More than 40 years of snoopin,’ keepin’ notes, and amassing volumes on local folklore hasn’t gone for naught. Dusty yellowed sheets of paper fill every closet, ditto for attic and basement. If your eyes could scan the   information contained in these pages, facts relating to “occurrences” that happen here with alarming regularity, then friend…sleep wouldn’t come your way tonight!

         The lad of 19 was the latest in a long line to ask the irksome question: “How much do you know about ghosts on the local scene?” Would they never quit asking?!

         He wanted to know, I’d give him a straightforward answer: “Look kiddo, I know about the thinking of your age group. You beautiful children of Aquarius are gonna’ cure the ills and woes of the world.” He nodded agreement as I continued; “You asked a question pal, and I’ll answer in the lingo you understand. I know a helluva’ lot more about ghosts than you do”…

3

         My 40 year investigation into the eerie world of the supernatural has revealed some startling facts, many of which run counter to our established thought patterns concerning this fascinating subject.

         For instance, most of us have conjured up in our mind a specific image of a haunted house. The picture is always the same…a huge rundown wooden structure on a windswept hillside.

         Believe you me, that ain’t always the case. Ghosts, just like their living descendants, are lately taking up residence in brick ranch-styles, split-levels, colonials and other type homes. There is an obvious inference here…ghosts like modern-day conveniences too.

         From time to time some of my “investigative findings” will be made public , but most will forever remain in safekeeping at undisclosed hiding places. If ever the full contents of these documents were “leaked” you’d witness a mass-exodus of humanity from Narrows akin to Jews tryin’ to get outta’ Russia!

         I can release this fact. As of this date 62 houses in Narrows have been discovered with eerie emanations reeking from them. Haunted houses good buddy,…hainted houses!.

         My investigations have not adhered to scientific methods. I’ve never owned a camera, thus have no pictures to offer as proof ( a ghost doesn’t photograph well anyhow ). I’ve never owned a tape-recorder, have no sound-tracks for your listening pleasure ( after hearing a ghost I’ve never wanted to push a play-back button!

         The exact location of these ( infested ) homes cannot be revealed. Many are the reasons why this is so , the most obvious being quite simply that I don’t want irate property owners gunnin’ for my hide! And who could blame them? Once the news is broadcast that a certain house is filled with ghosts…well neighbor, ya’ can forget about sellin’it! It’s value plummets to rock-bottom overnight, the owner can’t give the darn place away!

         Among those 62 homes I spoke of are some with terrible past histories. For instance, one is built on a site where Indians encamped some 200 years ago. Many native Americans expired in their tepees while residing there, and went on to join their ancestors in happier hunting-grounds. I once tried spending a night in that house and found it all but impossible. Whooping  redskins worked themselves into a frenzy all night long, preparing ghostly braves to go on the warpath! Damn near shook the structure off it’s foundation!

         If the owners of such homes gave me a clear deed and offered to pay all property taxes for the next 75 years…well, I’d tell ‘em to cram it!

         No areas of Narrows are free of carousing creatures and their creepy capers. Residents of College, Westview and Wolf  Streets should be especially watchful . Ghosts have taken a liking to your section of town , “infestations” are indeed heavy in your blocks. Ya’ might wanna’ keep a wary eye peeled.

         Yeah, many are the misconceptions about these spectral visitors. Not all of ‘em cavort  about inside rundown homes. Great numbers of “haints” prefer wide-open spaces, the outdoorsy type spooks.

         A  case in point is the railroad trestle where route 61 passes under the Norfolk-Southern tracks in Narrows. See the arched tunnel that allows pedestrians to walk beneath.

         That darkened passageway is a vortex, a “gateway” for every demon coming our way. I wouldn’t walk in there for all the cash money in both Virginia’s. Especially not after the sun sinks over the mountain.

home tonight, don’t call me. I’m busy gathering material for a ghost story…

The End

M. L. Wilkinson

March, 1981