Vehicles and Abuse

 

          I’ve been thinking about the financial mess our nation is in and, after prolonged and deep thought, have devised a plan which I believe might remedy the situation. It’s focus is directed toward VEHICLES. GOVERNMENT vehicles.
          The world is fully aware that anything rollin’ on wheels is an expensive durn thing. Gasoline, taxes and insurance will keep the old wallet flatter than a thin pancake. Knowing this fact, consider how the branches of government purchase double the number of cars and trucks needed for any and every department. Really, it’s not unusual for these dummies to have triple the number of wheels for maintenance and insurance they should have. Silly, but can we really expect these muleheads to operate sensibly?! 
          It is cars and trucks, I believe, instead of the Iraqi debacle that has brought us to the brink of bankruptcy. Somethin’ has gotta’ be done, else we’re all goin’ down to the ocean bottom to check out a locker belonging to Davy Jones!
          Giles County is typical of what’s happening all across the country with cars and trucks having government license plates fastened on their bumpers. I’ve recently conducted a series of tests concerning this matter, spending 2 hours daily in my auto parked near the entranceway to our local Wal-Mart. What unfolded there knocked me flatter than a pancake.
          I estimate our local Towns and County governments own 400 vehicles (they actually need about half that number…maybe even less ). Well neighbor, every last one of ‘em pulled in and parked at Wal-Mart during my 2 hour observation ( my tests lasted 21 working days ) The government employee exited the auto and rushed inside to do his / her shopping, leaving the engine idling and the air-conditioning blowing full blast.
          Folks, this wasn’t the lunch-time hour…they’re driving government cars to Wal-Mart during office hours!!! Not to conduct official business…to do their personal shopping!!!
          Here’s the plan I propose. Appoint a citizen’s committee to monitor the activities at Wal-Mart. Report every G-Man, County and Town official who motor in on that parking lot between 7:00 A.M. to 6:00P.M. driving a government vehicle. By all means get ‘em  on camera…we want pictures!
          And let’s halt this silly business of allowing government employees to drive official cars to their homes after working hours ( man…talk about abuse! Local cars have been seen in Roanoke and Bluefield during the night hours. Two months ago a Giles County car was spotted at a Lynchburg bowling alley as the clock approached midnight. The County employee had treated  his wife and 5 children to a night of bowling in the Hill City!!  That roundtrip is about 250 miles…quite an expense with petrol going for $3.75 per gallon. But then, a  feller would be crazy to drive his personal vehicle and burn his own fuel on a long trip to Lynchburg. An employer stupid enough to allow company vehicles to be driven home...well, he deserves to be taken to the cleaners! ).
          Park the junkheaps right there at the office when it’s time to clock-out and go home. This one action would result in a savings (to the taxpayer ) of 30,000 dollar per month here on the local scene. Magnify this scene coast-to-coast and you get the picture. And begin to wonder why we haven’t bankrupted decades ago.
          My proposal doesn’t allow for exceptions. Fire Chiefs, Police Chiefs, City and Town Managers, County officials…let’s insist these dudes drive their own cars to and from the workplace.
          Any who don’t agree can be invited to step aside and resign after turning in the keys to a vehicle that don’t belong to them. Give ‘em a cheap watch for their service, say good-bye and suggest they seek employment laying pipeline across the frozen Arctic tundra.
          Remind each office-holder how 88 applicants are waiting to take over their office…and will be “tickled to death” to drive their private vehicles to and from work.
          Man, I’m tellin’ you. Great things can and will happen when we stop this abuse. We citizens in the private sector ( who pay for everything and own these vehicles bearing government license plates ) can have not one, but 10 chickens in every pot!
          These actions can pay great dividends to the general populace. By cracking down in this matter we can cut the budget deficit in half within six months. In one year we can have our federal budget balanced…and even declare a surplus!
          Simply by making government employees use their own piles of junk to motor back and forth between home and the workplace.

 

                                                                         The End

                                                                         M.L. Wilkinson

                                                                         November, 2008